I Won't Say I'm In Love
by Yoru no Kuronue
Summary: Kazahaya won't say he's in love, and so Saiga and Kakei decide to torture it out of him...


**Disclaimer: I don't own anyone.**

**Yoru: So I'm on a romance ****binge,**** and this song randomly popped into my head on my way home today. And because my current favorite story that I'm working on is "Collar", it turned into a Kazahaya x Rikuo.**

**Kuronue: If you can find the logic there, please let us know.**

**Yoru: ****Anyway, here you go. Kazahaya won't say he's in love…****and Saiga's determined to torture it out of him…and no, I don't actually know where he's getting the ice cubes…it's Saiga, make it up yourself.**

_If there's a prize for rotten judgment_

_I guess I've already won that_

Kazahaya shrieked as something cold went down his back.

"WHO DID IT? I SWEAR, WHEN I FIND YOU!!!" He lunged at the closest black-dressed person, bringing them both to the ground. Sitting up and straddling the larger person, Kazahaya was ready to crow his victory to the heavens.

"It was Saiga, you idiot."

Kazahaya glanced down to see familiar angry eyes burning at him. He leaped off, cringing. Rikuo got up and dusted himself off, still glaring at his would-be attacker.

"Check before you just go around tackling people. I could have been a customer."

"Ha! We're closed! Therefore you are not a customer!" Kazahaya shouted, hiding behind a display.

"Did the word 'clear' come over the intercom? No. Therefore, there could still be customers in the store. But of course, a rabid animal like you would never think of that." Rikuo smirked as Kazahaya stammered angrily before turning away.

_No man is worth the aggravation_

_That's__ ancient history, been there, done that!_

Kazahaya seethed as he helped Rikuo close the store down completely. He could hear Saiga laughing a few aisles over, and Rikuo wasn't talking to him.

Not that he cared whether the gorilla was talking to him.

Of course not. Sure, he might have thought Rikuo was attractive at first glance, but no way did he think that now. And maybe he hadn't been totally miserable during the whole chocolate episode. But he would have liked that if it had been anybody, right?

"I don't even like him," Kazahaya muttered.

"Really?" came a soft, deceivingly gentle voice behind him.

_Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'?_

_He's the Earth and heaven to you_

_Try to keep it hidden_

_Honey, we can see right through you_

Kakei smiled as Kazahaya whirled around.

"K-Kakei-san! Wait, what did that mean?"

"You really don't like Rikuo? After all he's done for you." Kakei's eyes turned sad as he waited for Kazahaya's response.

"What?"

"He took you in, fed you, saved your life countless times. And you don't like him?"

"Besides, you're blushing," came another voice, deeper this time. Kazahaya screeched as a large arm captured his waist and pulled him against a muscular body.

"I am not!" Kazahaya struggled uselessly.

"Oh, yes you are. Come on, kid, we know how you _really_ feel about darling Rikuo."

_Girl, ya can't conceal it_

_We__ know how ya feel and_

_Who you're thinking of_

"I don't feel anything but hate for him!"

"Bull. You're in L-O-V-E." Saiga let go of Kazahaya just long enough to slip another ice cube down his back, earning a nice, loud scream.

"YOU ASSHOLE!!!"

"Now, now, Saiga was just cooling you down. You were…shall we say…overheating." Kakei closed his eyes and smiled, giving the impression of the devil he was.

Another ice cube found its way into Kazahaya's shirt, but this time a hand clamped over his mouth before he could scream.

"I'm going to remove my hand, and you're going to say it. Just 'I love Rikuo', and the torture will end." Kakei was obviously enjoying himself. Kazahaya shook his head frantically.

_No chance, no way_

_I won't say it, no, no_

Kazahaya gave a muffled shriek as yet another ice cube invaded his personal space.

"Say it." Kakei took his hand away.

"No!"

This time Saiga rubbed the ice cube around, spreading the cold around Kazahaya's back and making him scream bloody murder. Kakei's hand was hardly enough to hold all the noise in.

"Oh, you do too. And all you have to do is say it. It's just us, what harm could it do?"

_You swoon, you sigh_

_Why deny it, uh-oh_

"Lots of harm! Lots and lots and lots of harm!"

"It seems we'll have to resort to…harsher methods." Saiga began rooting around in a pocket. Kazahaya tried to get away, but the other man's grip was too strong.

"RIKUO! HELP ME YOU JERK!"

"I sent him to pick up some Chinese that I ordered…on the other side of town. He won't be back for a while."

Kazahaya felt the icy chill of terror settle over his heart.

_It's too cliché_

_I won't say I'm in love_

Kazahaya fought desperately as Saiga pulled off his shirt. Before he knew it, he was on the ground, hands tied by his shirt and sat on by Kakei, who was also working to gag him. Saiga sat on his feet and pulled out a jar.

"WHAT IS THAT? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME? RAPE! RA—!" Kazahaya was abruptly cut off by Kakei's hand.

"It's your worst nightmare. Now say it." Saiga nodded at Kakei, who removed his hand.

"NO!" shouted Kazahaya. Saiga shrugged and began spreading peanut butter over Kazahaya's bare chest. Kakei's hand was almost blown away by the onslaught of sound that it was muffling.

"Say it or we'll spread it ALL OVER."

_I thought my heart had learned its lesson_

_It__ feels so good when you start out_

_My head is screaming "get a grip, girl!"_

_Unless you're dying to cry your heart out_

"I can't love him."

Saiga stopped spreading. Kakei actually looked unsure for the first time in his life. Kazahaya looked like he was about to cry.

"What do you mean by that, Kazahaya?" Kakei asked softly.

"I mean…PSYCHE!" Kazahaya used their surprise to leap up and make for the door. Unfortunately, thanks to Kakei, he didn't get far before he tripped over a conveniently placed doorstop.

_You keep on denying_

_Who__ you are and how you're feeling_

_Baby, we're not buying_

_Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling_

"Anyway…" This time Saiga had Kazahaya tied to a shelf, so no amount of trickery would free him. Kazahaya fought as they spread peanut butter all over his torso as punishment.

"Now. You can't deny. Don't think we can't see how you look at your handsome co-worker, Kazahaya."

"I won't say it! Get it through your head!"

"You need to stop with the childish denial, Kazahaya. We can tell."

"Then why do you want me to say it so badly?"

"Because you need to face facts, my dear."

_Face it like a grown-up_

_When ya gonna own up_

_That__ ya got, got, got it bad_

Kazahaya was resigned to the fact that he was going to end up looking like a badly made sandwich. However, the bananas were a bit much.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?" he shouted as Saiga pulled yet another slice of delicious yellow fruit from a Ziploc bag.

"Kazahaya, you wouldn't be suffering if you'd just give us what we want." Kakei leaned down and took a slice of banana from Kazahaya's stomach. Chewing thoughtfully, he noticed Kazahaya's flash of discomfort. Kakei's face broke into a grin.

"A little uncomfortable with that, Kazahaya?"

_No chance, no way_

_I won't say it, no, no_

Kazahaya's eyes widened, and he bucked as Kakei leaned down and slowly licked up some peanut butter.

"Come on, or I'll lick it all." Kakei licked another trail up Kazahaya's chest, smirking at the struggles.

"I won't say it, no matter what you do!" Kazahaya cried. Kakei finally sat up and put his hands on his hips.

"Why not? You have to face it sometime."

_Give up, give in_

_Check the grin, you're in love_

"I don't have to face anything!"

"Do too," Saiga contributed to the conversation.

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not." Kazahaya and Saiga glared at each other (at least, Kazahaya assumed Saiga was glaring) for what felt like a long time. Then Saiga licked a piece of banana off of Kazahaya, who screamed.

_This scene won't play_

_I won't say I'm in love_

After what seemed like hours of peanut-buttery-insanity, Saiga finally let Kazahaya go. Kazahaya growled at him.

"Great, now I can't put my shirt on."

"Oh, Rikuo will like that." Kakei smiled as he eyed Kazahaya's still-covered torso. Kazahaya glared daggers at him.

"He won't see it. I'm going to go take a shower."

"He'll like that too."

_You're doin' flips, read our lips_

_You're__ in love_

"Kakei, sometimes I hate you."

"I'm sure you do. Now, say it. Just once, for the record."

"No." Kazahaya started up the stairs.

"You know you are, Kazahaya. One day it will bite you on the nose." Kakei sighed as Kazahaya's glare intensified.

_You're way off base_

_I won't say it_

_Get off my case_

_I won't say it_

"Look, he looks like a little peanut-butter-dragon," Saiga cooed.

"One day you're going to make me snap," Kazahaya snarled. Kakei laughed.

"I long for that day, and so does…"

"Don't say it!"

"…Saiga. You really need to learn to let people finish their sentences." Kakei leaned back into his lover as Kazahaya threw his hands into the air. Watching the boy lose his composure was so entertaining.

_Girl, don't be proud_

_It's__ O.K., you're in love_

"It's okay, you know," Kakei said just as Kazahaya was about to continue up the stairs.

"What is?"

"Being in love with Rikuo."

"Whatever." Kazahaya ran up the stairs and leapt into the shower, washing the peanut butter off of him. He hated Kakei and Saiga sometimes. The nerve of them! And yet, maybe it was okay.

He stepped out of the shower and dried off, putting the pajamas he'd left there on. Stepping out of the bathroom, he was met by warm lips on his own.

"You're back."

"Yeah."

Kazahaya smiled slightly as Rikuo kissed him again.

_At least out loud_

_I won't say I'm in lov__e_


End file.
